Gone to Paris!

What can I say? I had to get out of that house for awhile, so I talked Rob into a trip to Paris.....Tennessee that is! You know..home of the world's largest fishfry, etc....I really didn't think we would actually make it. I was packing Friday (after a busy day at the Dr's office) and had a scary episode I can only describe as a "vagal" type episode. I got dizzy, began sweating profusely, and was cold and clammy on the outside, but felt like I was on fire on the inside. I was weak and had some trouble catching my breath. Between that and fighting down a sudden bout of nausea, I just wanted to close my eyes and sleep. Rob, good man that he is, began to panic. But as I'm trying not to pass out, the nurse instinct is taking over and I had all these ideas going through my head about what could be happening. Once it finally passed, it hit me that this is the same type of response I used to get from patients while starting their IVs in radiology. It's what's known as a vagal response to something either real or perceived. I went to bed after it passed and slept soundly all night. Yesterday we loaded the dogs in the truck and drove up to Paris. We attended a cookout at a friend's house and all was well. Today, I was in the bathroom drying off from a much needed shower, and it hit me again. This time, I feel like my blood pressure may have bottomed out. No sweating this time, just dizzy and nauseated. I couldn't wait to lay down and just pass out. And that's what I did. Rob hauled my big butt to the bed and I passed out and didn't wake up for 2 hours. If this happens again, I'm going to get worried. I always say three times is a charm. I'll talk with Dr Sinard on Tuesday.......maybe it's just after effects from anesthesia. Anyway, I'm still draining 35-40 mL per day, so I'll probably have to see him this week anyway. And so it continues.................

Still Draining!

Well, I went to see Dr Sinard today in the hopes he would take this drain out of my neck. I feel like Frankenstein. If I go out anywhere in public, or just in the car (like to the Dr) I get stared at. Anyway, I'm still draining about 20 mL every 24 hrs. and he really wants me down to 10 mL before he pulls the drain. He was really sweet about it though and he gave my husband a suture removal kit and showed him where to clip the stitch and how to pull the drain out. If my drainage is low enough by Tuesday, then Rob can handle it. Either way, I have to call him Tuesday and let him know if the drain is in or out and how things are going. I like the way he kind of puts the after care in the patients hands and leaves it to them to monitor their own progress and make their own decisions about how they are progressing. The stitches on my face and neck are the kind that will dissolve over time. They are starting to itch, so I hope they hurry up and go away! Ok, that's all I have for now. I need a pain pill.

I Made It!

Hey! I made it through surgery, but it was scary for me! Let me tell you about my experience.
We arrived at the surgery check-in at 10:00 just as I was told. I was then informed I didn't have to check in until 11:00. Ok, so there must have been some sort of miscommunication by the surgery scheduler. That was alright, we just sat down and waited awhile. As I was looking around, I noticed a TV screen mounted on the wall with first names and last initials scrolling on it. I looked closer and found that this was their way of keeping families updated about surgeries. It showed three people "getting ready for surgery", and four people "in the operating room" with progress notes written in red, such as "doing well" or "surgery progressing". Then, when the patient is moved to recovery, it changes to say "in recovery room". I was somewhat comforted by this way of letting families know what was happening during surgery. It wasn't long before before they called my name and my husband and I were taken to a holding room. It was like a very small private room. That's where I put on the gown, got my IV started and was visited by the anesthesiologist, a nurse anesthetist, my surgeon, and my OR nurse. They were all very nice, and I felt very much at ease with them.
When the nurse anesthetist came in, she announced she was my bartender and had something really good for me! As soon as she got the all clear that the OR was ready, she began pushing Versed in my IV. Keep in mind, I have an EXTREMELY low tolerance for any kind of narcotic. I don't even remember her pushing my stretcher out the door into the hallway. I only remember telling my hubby I loved him and giving him a kiss while she was giving me the
drugs.
I don't remember being intubated or extubated, but when I woke up in recovery I was right in front of a clock and the first words I could manage were "is it really six o'clock?" I heard a familiar voice next to my stretcher say, "yes, you've been out for awhile". I turned my head to see who this voice was attached to and all I saw was a name badge. The name was familiar. It was a nurse I had worked with in radiology recovery. I knew then I was in good hands. I looked up at his face and said "I know you". He said "yeah, I thought it was you". He then asked if I wanted him to let my family know I was alright. I said yes, so off he went to let them know I was waking up. My only complaint was that it was eight o'clock at night before they took me to a room. Bed management knew, all that time, that I would be admitted, but they dragged their feet giving out a room number to the recovery room nurse. It was almost nine o'clock before I saw my family in my room. That was my only complaint though. The doctors were excellent and the nursing care was too. I really didn't want for anything. Except to go home!
I was discharged around noon yesterday with a drain in my neck and a line of stitches in front of my right ear extending down under my jawline. My right ear is completely numb, but I knew it would be. The facial nerve ran right through my tumor, so they had to cut it and reattach it with a microscope. I do have some slight facial weakness on the right side that will improve with time. I can't pucker my lips, and I noticed that while swishing water around in my mouth, it falls out the right side! And I can only manage a half smile! I know these things will resolve in time, but he said it could take up to a year to get feeling back in my ear. OK, so I can deal with that. And did I mention the really good news yet? It was a BENIGN tumor! But it had to come out before it interfered with my swallowing or anything else. It was a fast growing benign Warthin's tumor that can become malignant if left untreated.
So this morning I'm enjoying my first decent cup of coffee in a few days along with the peace and quiet of the house. I made Rob go back to work today. I feel OK, just a little stiff............and I desperately need a shower.

Tomorrow

Well, tomorrow's the big day. Not only will I be another year wiser (happy birthday to me!), but I will be minus one salivary gland! Ha! I must admit though, I am very nervous about this whole thing. I have had some really crazy dreams the last few nights....all related to my anxiety, I'm sure. Anyway, the one that bothered me most was one I had last night. I dreamed I was in the OR on the table and I had floated out of my body and was hovering near the ceiling looking down and watching things progress. I heard their conversations and watched the surgery take place. It was actually rather uneventful. I take this as a premonition that all will be well tomorrow. My dreams are very serious to me because they don't happen often, and when they do, they usually have something important to tell me. But enough about that. I'll write more on Wednesday or Thursday.

Looking for Zebras

I think my husband and I learned a valuable lesson the last few days. Don't go to the ER unless you are truely dying or injured! He called me at work yesterday morning and said he didn't feel right. He said he had broken out in a sweat and his fingers were numb and tingling and he was short of breath. He sounded very anxious on the phone, so I (being a nurse) became concerned. I left work and picked him up and we drove to the ER at Vanderbilt. Now, keep in mind Vanderbilt is an excellent place for sick folks and true emergencies, but apparently not for us. I must say, the doctors (two very young women) were very thorough. They checked him from head to toe for everything from a heart attack, possible stroke, pulmonary embolism, and dissecting aorta....all the right things for emergency room docs to do with a person presenting with his symptoms. But there was one small problem. They were looking for a zebra in a field full of horses. That means that they were overlooking the obvious. They were trying to treat what they saw on the monitor instead of treating the patient. I kept telling them it was a panic attack or severe anxiety, but I was ignored while Rob was scanned, stuck, and x-rayed. Several hours later, after being admitted to the MICU, an older attending physician came to see us. He was what my mother-in-law would call a "hand patter". He saw no medical reason to keep Rob overnight and said he was comfortable with the readings on the monitor because Rob was not symptomatic with a heart rate of 48. And so he ordered them to discharge him immediately. Today, I took Rob to see his PCP after receiving another panic stricken phone call. Dr Hill is great! He listened carefully to the symptoms presented and said, "this sounds like a panic attack"!!! BINGO!! That's what I tried to tell them the day before! Armed with a prescription for Xanax and Paxil, we happily left the office. Now, here we are several hours later, and no more anxiety (thanks to the xanax). And the lesson to be learned is: If you know that all you have is a plain old horse, don't let the doc look for a zebra. If he does, then find another doc......one with some good, old fashioned common sense.

A Long Week

It's been a really long and tiring week and I am so glad the weekend is finally here. It started with an ass-kicking day day in the clinic, then about 4:30 my doctor called to tell me we would definitely be doing surgery and he explained all the risks and benefits to me and told me what to expect afterwards. His main concern is the facial nerve. It runs right through the parotid galnd, and consequently, the tumor. He said I would have some facial weakness on my right side for awhile and my ear would be numb. It is supposed to eventually resolve itself after surgery. I'm going in on the 26th to have the parotidectomy. I will stay one night and go home the next day with drains in my neck. They will take the drains out a few days later. He says it will take about a week to recover, but I have taken 2 weeks off work. I can always go back early if I feel up to it. I think my biggest fear is the anesthesia. I've never had any type of surgeries other than c-sections and those were epidurals. Being a nurse, you know too much and tend to think of everything that could go wrong while you are asleep. Maybe it's a control thing.....giving up all control of your body to another person is tough. Anyway, I just want to get this over and done with.

Been Busy.......

I know I haven't written for quite while, but I think my inner muse has been sleeping.....or maybe there's just been too much happening lately to sit down and quiet my mind enough to write. I read a news story on Yahoo yesterday that not only turns my stomach, but also enrages me! It was about a 14 yr old girl with cerebral palsy who was starved to death and only weighed 42 lbs when she died at home in her own filth. You can read the story here: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080801/ap_on_re_us/starvation_death_charges;_ylt=Ant2npDNZAZaQBdxoBA2XGes0NUE
I think the authorities are doing the right thing by charging all these people and I really hope some good comes of this. The DHS in that town needs a complete overhaul, along with other city offices, and I hope they get it. I'm glad she's in a better place now.
I can't believe it's August already and kids everywhere will be starting back to school. I'm thankful I don't have to deal with that yet. Michael has gotten his two bottom teeth and is working on his uppers. He's sitting in a walker now and kicking his feet to move him around. He just gets sweeter all the time. I can't wait for Hayden's arrival in October!
I went to a neck and head doctor yesterday. I noticed a swelling on my neck near my jawline and thought it was a lymph node....and it still may be...he never really said. Anyway, they did an FNA (fine needle aspiration) of it and it was not the results he was expecting. The doc said if he was a betting man, he would bet on a Warthin's tumor, which is benign. Apparently smokers are 8x more likely to get this type of tumor, which attaches itself to the tail end of the parotid gland. The only treatment for it is surgery to remove the gland. The problem was that the preliminary pathology report did not match up with what he expected to see for that type of tumor. He then sent me for a CT scan of my neck and said my parotid gland would most likely have to come out. Anyway, I'm not letting it stress me until he calls Monday with my completed results and gives me some sort of diagnosis and a game plan. Damn my neck is still sore though. They used a very fine needle (looked like about 25 ga.) and they took five samples and boy it hurt! I must say though, Vanderbilt definitely takes care of it's own. Most people wait a month to see this guy, but they got me in the very next day, did the FNA immediately, and there was no waiting for the CT scan. The whole thing, from the time I signed in at the doctors office, to the time I left radiology took less than 3 hours. I was quite impressed.
Our new Cancer Clinic will be opening September 8th. We will be moving everything on Friday the 5th. I am dreading this move, but looking forward to our new clinic. I'm still enjoying what I do and love working with Victoria and Jennifer. They have been my voice of reason these last few days. One of my favorite patients has finished her chemo and will be having surgery in a few weeks. I love her spunkiness! She is a mother in her 30's with a 6 month old and a 3 year old. If we had met under different circumstances, we would most likely have become close friends. I'm really gonna miss seeing her every week, but I'm happy for her. That makes 3 patients I have lost because they are now cancer free............