More Yellow butterflies!

If you have read previous posts to this blog, you know that yellow butterflies have always had a special meaning for me and seem to have been a constant in my life for the past several years. Butterflies are a symbol of change and transformation. And God knows I've had alot of that in my life! I guess more change is on the horizon. This morning, I was taking a bag of trash out to the cans, and playing with the dogs as I went. As I got closer to the trash can, there sat a yellow butterfly right on top of the lid. It just sat there, seemingly unafraid of me, moving it's wings slowly up and down as if to say, "are you ready?" My answer was "yes, throw it at me...whatever you've got!". I sat down on the back steps to watch it flitter and fly around, and lo and behold, another one joined it! Now, if you read my earlier blog about about my father's passing, you will understand how this made me feel......to watch these two do their dance together. I began to tear up and wanted to cry as I watched, thinking of my mom and dad. They are reminding me that they are with me.

Butterflies are also considered a symbol of clairvoyance. That is something I have tried to deny most of my life. But that is also a subject to be discussed in another post because my grandson has come to visit for the day, and it is very difficult to write anything with him tooling around the house in his walker grabbing at anything he thinks he can reach.

It's a Beautiful Day!

The house is quiet this morning and I'm sitting sipping on my coffee as I peruse through the news. There is never any good news to read anymore. But I won't get up on my soapbox this morning because I just don't feel like it. On Friday I saw Dr Sinard again. He wants to continue the antibiotics and see me Wednesday before he opens the clinic. I guess thats when we'll come up with a game plan for this wound on my neck. I have a hole in it just below my ear (it's gross) that you can actually see into and this is where the salivary fistula is. Saliva is draining from this hole and it's gross! I cover it up at work and when I go out in public, but at home I try to leave it open so maybe it can heal. He says the drainage is a combination of saliva and infection. I hope it heals on it's own. I don't want to go back into surgery and remove the graft......once was enough for me. And I don't like the questions from my patients. I truly appreciate the concern they show for me, but I felt so guilty telling them the tumor was benign. Those people are fighting for their lives every day and I feel like it's a slap in the face to them. I finally started sidestepping their questions and telling them I was just covering a hickey (haha!) with the bandage. They knew better though because they can see part of the stitches, but they didn't push the issue, and I just changed the subject by inquiring about them.
Only a few of my patients (the ones I am closer to) know what's really going on. Now.....on a lighter note......
Our female boxer, Shelby is back in heat. We have wanted a litter for years and this is our last chance. She is almost 4 yrs. old and I have decided that if we don't get some this time, then it's time to have her spayed. She and Brutus, our male, have been trying for along time with no luck. There seems to be alot of "activity" between them when they go outside, so we'll see. If it's meant to be, then it will be.
Well, the sun is shining and it's a beautiful day out there. Time to get off my kiester and get some things done. It's going to be a good day.

Here We Go Again....

Well, we are getting settled in our new clinic, and I must say, I am rather enjoying the new digs. Its like moving from a small, cramped efficiency apartment to a brand new mansion. The patients seem to be enjoying it also. Our wait times for the lab have reduced, even on our busiest days it only seems to be about a 15 minute wait, as opposed to the hour or longer spent waiting at the old clinic. Once the wrinkles get ironed out I think it will be wonderful!
On another note, I have developed some complications from what I thought would be a fairly minor surgery. I honestly thought that once my drain was out and the pain was gone, that things would heal and progress without any problems....WRONG! Leave it to me to be the drama queen! On Saturday my wound started draining. It has steadily gotten worse and not only is it macerated badly, but it also looks rather infected. Dr. Sinard, wonderful doctor that he is, came out of surgery today to speak with me about it. We are going to meet before he starts clinic in the morning and hes going to open it up, insert a new drain, and give me a few new stitches. I am assuming that once he sees how bad it looks he will also clean and debride it. I'm going back to work afterwards, so say a prayer for me tomorrow, because I will be under the influence of pain medication. Wish me luck....

Mikey

Mikey, my grandson, spent the night last night. It was actually good for me to spend this time with him. Life is so easy for children, especially nowadays. I sometimes wish I could go back to that time in my life when I had no responsibilities and my biggest worry was which toy to play with. Anyway, here he is in his Titan's outfit.....

First Day Back

Yesterday was my first day back to work. I was little shaky at first, but it got better. I was so happy to see Victoria and Jenn! We took patients until 12, then we took lunch and began moving into our new clinic and lab on the first floor. It is beautiful! And we are so proud of it! Everything is new and state of the art. The new lab has 5 port stations for me to sit patients and access their ports, there is one phlebotomy chair for Victoria, a stretcher area in case anyone needs to lay down, and an empty space for wheelchair patients.....it's huge compared to what we have been working with! Victoria and I worked hard all afternoon trying to get our supplies and everything moved and put where we wanted it. It still isn't done. I thought about going in for a few hours today and finishing it, but I think I'll stay home today and just go in early Monday to work on it. I was so tired when I got home yesterday, but it felt good to get back in my routine. I was hurting quite a bit too, but I think it's because of all the talking, smiling, and laughing I did! My patients are so good for me....I think I need them as much as they need me!

Going Back To Work

I made through the week....almost. Tomorrow I will venture out to work and see how it goes. I guess I'm a little nervous about how all that will go. Although my drainage tube is out (thanks, Brian!), I still look like Frankenstein. But maybe getting back in my normal routine is just what I need. If not, then I can always leave and come home early. I miss my girls Victoria and Jennifer. I think seeing them at work will be good for me....and I am bored! I know I am bored because I actually set up a Myspace page for myself. I have always thought Myspace was just for the younger generation (and I still believe that), but everyone in my family has one (including my mother-in-law) so I figured, why not? Besides, if there was any chance Zoe wanted to find me, maybe she would think to look there. I would love to meet her.
The silence in the house this morning is deafening, and although the Tv is on, it doesn't seem to help. I can see the sun trying to rise, but it looks as though it's fighting the cloud cover. I hope it rains today. A good day to lay on the couch and veg.